Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
