Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
