I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
