Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
