Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
