it was like his penis was on wheels.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize