Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize