you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize