We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize