We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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