Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
