im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
