how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
