i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
