I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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