where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
