I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
