I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
