I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
