dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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