I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
