Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
