You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
