Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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