It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
