TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
