she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Never underestimate the power of titties
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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