out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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