I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
