Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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