So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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