I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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