I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
