i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
