I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
this will be a night to untag.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
