Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
