I wannas sexs uuuuu
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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