What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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