Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
