Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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