I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
