I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize