and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
