playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
