i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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