Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
