just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm at about main and main street
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
