I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
