There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
