have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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