you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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