remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize