If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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