Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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