Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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