They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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