Well apparently he's into motor boating.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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