There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
