all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
