Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
