Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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