i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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