I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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