Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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